new york used to make me feel so alone.
in 2018, i went to nyc after the death of my best friend. i lost so much of myself then. i walked around aimlessly, without an itinerary.
in 2022, i went back to think about the future i had given up on. i found parts of myself again—am still finding parts of myself—thanks to a pisces friend far away.
but not anymore.
an entry from march 17, 2022:
”i've been so used to going places on my own. doing everything alone. checking in, boarding, and flying on my own. walking foreign streets on my own. figuring out how to read maps and navigating commute rides on my own. ordering for one, eating on my own. watching shows and movies on my own. being in a new place with someone is so new to me. new york used to make me feel so alone. but not anymore.”